Sacred Threads

A Reflection on Faith, Jesus, and the Expansive Path of Spirit - A story on good Friday

I was baptized as a baby, wore my little white dress for First Communion, sat through years of catechism classes, did my confession, I was confirmed, and went to church nearly every Sunday with my parents and brother. There were times I truly loved being there—especially the singing, the devotion, the peace that would settle over me as we left church. I felt lightness, like Jesus was helping me find my way in life. As a kid, I would pray to Him when I felt scared or lost. I knew He loved me, and I wanted to be more like Him.

But as I grew older, things got more complicated.

Around eleven years old, I entered a confusing and heavy phase—what I now understand as a spiritual reckoning. I started questioning the nature of creation, of existence, of God. Some teachings I’d grown up with—like the fear of eternal damnation, or the idea that only believers in Jesus could enter Heaven—left me feeling unsettled and unworthy. It was a darkness that felt both external and internal. The mystery of faith, while beautiful in its essence, became frightening in its ambiguity. I felt scared, lost, and unsure of how to find my way back to the light.

That search would become the journey of my life.

Years later, in my early twenties, I found yoga. What began as a physical practice slowly opened a doorway to deeper inner peace and understanding. I wasn’t rejecting Jesus—I was finding Him in new ways. Through breath, movement, and presence, I began to feel my own divinity and connection to the Creator again. When I began studying the Yamas and Niyamas (the ethical teachings of yoga), I saw clear reflections of Christ’s teachings—non-violence, truthfulness, surrender, humility. These principles became a compass for me, helping me return to that childlike longing to be good, to do right, to serve others.

I also started reading books like Journey of Souls and Many Lives, Many Masters, and something profound clicked. I deeply resonated with the idea of reincarnation, soul families, karmic lessons, and the continuity of the soul’s journey. I didn’t believe that only those who claimed Jesus as Savior were worthy of eternal light. That belief had never sat well with me. I came to see that all souls, regardless of belief system, are moving toward the light, returning to Oneness, returning to God. The soul knows its way home.

For me, Jesus never left. Even as my spiritual path expanded to include the sacred rhythms of nature, the wisdom of Earth-based traditions, and the healing of yoga and meditation, Jesus remained. Sometimes it feels like He’s the thread weaving it all together. In moments of deep gratitude, sorrow, or days like Christmas, good friday or Easter, I find myself turning to Him. I listen to worship songs that bring me to tears—songs I grew up with, like Voice of Truth—and I’m flooded with full-body chills. It’s like a coming home. It always is.

I believe in the Archangels. I believe in Spirit Guides. I believe in the energy of the Buddha, Ganesha & Lakshmi. kirtan and sound baths often soothe me. I believe in the healing power of rivers, stones, firelight, and syncing with the seasons. I feel closest to Spirit when I’m in nature, in sacred movement, in stillness, or in the act of loving others. All of this—every prayer, every practice—is a devotion to the Creator, who came in human form to forgive our downfalls, to love us through our seasons of darkness, to show us what’s possible when we live with love at the center.

I don’t think I was meant to choose just one way. I think the heaviness I experienced as a child came from trying to fit a vast, expansive soul into a singular mold. Sometimes I feel the longing memory of a past life— as a Native woman, tending fire, singing to the moon, offering gratitude to Mother Earth and Father Sky. Sweat lodges bring me peace. So does church. So does a river hike with my feet in the water and the sun on my shoulders. I listen to Sam Garrett, Trevor Hall & Yaima to feel joyously connected to Mother earth & spirit, and Christian songs like Healing Rain & Praise you in this storm give me undeniable chills.

And so, I walk this path—a weaving of many threads. Jesus is always beside me. Creator is within me. The soul journey guides me. And through every hardship, every breakthrough, every moment of clarity or gratitude, I feel guided, blessed, and seen.

This, to me, is what spirituality is: devoting yourself to something bigger than you. Allowing it to continuously transform you, Reinvent you. Allowing it to make you a better person. Allowing it to bring you home.

I'm sharing this blog post in hopes of connecting with and supporting others who may have found themselves on a similar path—one that doesn’t quite fit into a single label or religion, but still feels deeply sacred. We are spiritual beings in a human body, and navigating that truth can be beautifully complex. I believe there's so much power in exploring and honoring the many ways Spirit speaks to us—through nature, through stillness, through song, through ancient texts and modern movement, and through the unconditional love of Jesus. If you’ve ever felt both devoted and questioning, both reverent and curious, know that you’re not alone. This space is for you, too. 💛